Alice hurried back down to the city square to find Sam and Ham and tell them what she had to do, but before she got a chance to rehearse the debrief, she found them sitting on a park bench, glasses of beer in hand, watching. With the hypnotic beating of the festival drums sending a pleasant pulse through the air, a group of teenagers were bringing the rhythm to dance with some skillful acrobatics off the backs of benches and down handrails.
“Now that’s clever,” said Sam, as a boy jumped off a trash can, launched himself into the air and ran along the wall of a confectionary stall.
“Not in the slightest,” said Ham the Naked Taverner. “That’s just basic Parkour. Watch as I show you intermediate Parkour.” With a glow of pride, alcohol and obesity, he handed Sam his beer and leaped onto the back of the park bench. With surprising lightness given his handsome bulk he sailed through the air until he caught the neck of a streetlamp. There he remained, waving at an astonished crowd and hanging like a flag, his limp ding-ding fluttering gently in the wind.
“What a grotesque sight,” uttered a passing gentleman with a wrinkled nose. “There should be a law against people doing street acrobatics in their birthday suits.”
“Oh, there must be. I should imagine there is a general consensus on public nudity,” answered Sam, smiling up at his skillful friend.
Suddenly a firework went off from somewhere in the square, and instead of zooming skyward and exploding in beauty it landed on the second story balcony of Haephestus Luxury China and Glassware, where it continued to hiss and spit in an unsatisfied fizzle. Alice screamed, catching the attention of the wrinkle-nosed gentleman who spun round to see what the screaming was about.
“That’s my shop!” he shrieked, at a pitch not unlike that of Alice. “It’s going to blow up!”
Ham slid down the lamppost, took a running jump and caught the butt end of a first story beam jutting out through the white brick wall opposite. He heaved himself up with furious strength, ignoring the gasps from the crowd below. Clinging to the crumbling wood he grasped the next beam up, and then the next, until he was three stories above the packed city square, the Taiko drummers still beating furiously. He lurched onto the slats of the sloped roof and fumbled his way to the top, where he took one last hop and sprung over the gap between buildings, grabbed the boutique sign and swung himself onto the balcony like a graceful hippopotamus. He stood there, for a minute, wheezing.
Then, with the irritated firework in one hand, he used the other to launch himself off the balcony railings and landed with an almighty thud in the throng of cheering fans. The aftershock of the landing rippled through his physique for a number of moments.
Fut…fut…pfft, went the explosive, and died, prompting a crescendo of applause. Ham wrung himself into a contorted position as he clutched desperately at his chest at the same time as attempting to puff it out proudly.
Sam was holding Alice as she trembled in fear. “That was very brave, my friend,” he called to Ham. “And your un-aerodynamic shape is no impediment to your courage!”
“How about a mystery series set in London mid-1800’s with Dickens’ Scrooge as a reluctant detective?” suggested Scott Ciencin to me back in 2012. The fog parted at that moment and I knew I’d met my muse.
As it happens, my family moved to London from Wakefield in around 1820 (and then my namesake by complete coincidence, Elizabeth Wilson, was the first Wilson to be born in London. That was 1821!) One of the reasons the Wilsons moved to London during this time was because of my great-great-great-great-uncle wonderfully named Mozart, and his older brother Haydn. (It’s true. We’re eccentric.)
The two lads were budding musicians (of course), and the family moved to London so the boys would have the very best chance to nurture their art.
In fact, the Dickens family moved to London around that time too and lived about a mile from the Wilsons. I do hope they crossed paths and perhaps even knew each other a little. Maybe the Dickenses brought a plate of scones round to celebrate Mozart’s eventual success. Perhaps the Wilsons shared a plum pudding with the Dickenses to congratulate them on Charles’ epic stamp on literary history.
Haydn was eventually described in The Gentleman’s Magazine in 1829 as “a young composer in the Royal Academy of considerable promise.” and became resident organ player at St Mary’s Newington. He later wrote a heap of organ music which is currently held at the university library at Cambridge. He never married, and eventually moved back to Wakefield in later life to live with his sister Jane Nicholson (of the organ making Nicholsons).
Mozart and Haydn had a nephew also named Mozart (yes, I know…) who went on to quite a bit of musical success and is the subject of my mother’s great interest – she’s a personal historian specializing in Victorian London (very convenient for me and Scott!). This Mozart Wilson (the younger) also happens to be an ancestor of Sylvia R. Swann, the editor of my novel Ascension Denied.
My family were (and still are) a mind-boggling bunch of cartoons who serve as excellent characters for a book! For example, Haydn’s uncle went bankrupt a few times, was a journalist and explored Afghanistan and Persia before running a dramatic society in India somewhere – no mean feat in those days. I think he’d make a smashing cameo character in the next book. I might mention it to Scott. Visit our site, Scrooge Mysteries, if you love reading historical mystery.
I just got served. During a 38 second stop at a red light. It was awful, bloody, painful. And it all happened in my head.
It’s a “rough” part of town. Or at least that’s what I’ve been told. I’ve never experienced or felt any roughness, unless I count the many assaults on my sensitivities by morbidly obese women oozing out of their leopard-print hot pants and toothlessly eating fried chicken by the side of the road.
The traffic light is right by this big wooden pagoda that attracts the peculiar folk who don’t ever seem to go to work. They just collect there, wearing their trousers around their knees and their gang-colored scarfs half way over their eyes. I’ve been told to be worried and cautious when I drive through that area, so I am. (In fact, every time I drive past here these peculiar people are laughing and chatting amongst themselves, sharing stories and passing each other food, making sure the disabled amongst them are comfortable and fed first. But still, very troublesome indeed, I’ve been told to think, so I do).
So the light went red right by this pagoda full of food-sharing, story-telling, disabled-helping, smiling delinquents. And I hunched down in the driver’s seat so I wouldn’t meet their eyes. “God help me if one of them knocks on my window and asks for change. God help me.”
As I expected, a man got off a bench and started walking amongst the stationery cars, knocking on windows one by one. Dread filled me like a trickle of prussic acid. What if he asked me for a dollar? What could I, vulnerable and alone, possibly do in such a horrible situation?
Then his glorious yellow and pink tie-dyed T-shirt got my attention. He was handing out leaflets. People were winding down their windows and accepting them, he was laughing and his huge, brown eyes were twinkling. My curiosity built up like a wave of froth in my abdomen. I had to know what was on the leaflet! I couldn’t wait for him to get to my car!
As the man in the car in front rolled up his window and wiped the tears of hilarity from his eyes, the man in the tie-dyed T-shirt turned to me. So I looked down, started tapping on my phone, pretending I hadn’t seen him. My turn next. Gonna get my hands on that leaflet!
He walked right by, that son of a bitch!
He didn’t knock on my window, didn’t share his eye-twinkles with me, and I didn’t get my leaflet!
“It’s because I’m white!” my mind shrieked, utterly indignant and gob-smacked by his audacity.
And then, in the split second before the light turned green again, I laughed. Because I’d caught myself not practicing a very important universal Law: The Law of Receiving.
My car had pulled up to that red light in a haze of my prejudice and defensiveness. I’d already decided, long before I’d arrived, that I did not want anyone knocking on my window and I would not open it if they did and they were not safe people and they were unwelcome in my safe little bubble. I kept my eyes down and my mind tightly closed. I expected to get something without giving.
Safety is important, of course. But I really trust my intuition and that man wasn’t giving my bad vibes at all. He was giving me great vibes! I really wanted that leaflet.
I’ve been asking the Universe for a lot lately, praying and meditating on my desires. I know they’ll be delivered (they always are), as long as I’m open to receiving them and as long as I act on the assignments I’m given. That leaflet could have been an invitation to a community barbeque where I might have met the next Douglas Adams. Or it could have been a random photo of a piece of fried chicken that might have given me a flash of inspiration for my next book. I’ll never know now. So I’m the one with mud on my face.
But I might still go back later and see if he’s still there. If not, I’ll just hang out at the pagoda, share some fried chicken and laugh at some stories.
Water does stuff that we don’t do. Like evaporate. Be a place for shrimp to die. Lie on my bathroom floor until I slip on it. Scare the shit out of my cat. Be a toilet for whales.
But it has some similarities with us too.
1. Stagnant water stinks…
…like rotting eggy mushrooms. It’s vile. Sometimes one of those fat bubbles will rise to the surface and belch more mustard-colored ooze into the atmosphere.
And a stagnant person gives off the same vibrational fumes of boredom, underachievement, frustration, anger, low self-esteem… But if you could sieve all that algae and fungus and whatever else out of the water, the pure water is still there. The best way to do that is to get the water flowing again. If you have stagnated, recognize that and take action. (How? Start by remembering your goal.)
2. Water flows over obstacles.
When water flowing down a stream meets a stick or a stone in its path, it doesn’t build up pressure to try and blast the obstacle out of its way. It simply changes its course. Flows over it. In metaphysics this is known as the universal Law of Non-resistance. Aristotle was all about that shit. “Resistance is the cause of every monstrosity,” he said.
You can be like flowing water. Any obstacle in your way can be used to your advantage. Water doesn’t care about the obstacle, the obstacle’s a non-issue. It only cares about where it’s going. It’s easy to brace yourself against trouble and prepare yourself to fight and conquer – but that’s counterproductive. All you’re doing is asking for more shit. Instead, understand the obstacle, and then use the benefits it brings. Flow around it, dance with it, make the giant boulder in your way a stepping stone. (How? It helps to know where you’re going.)
3. It also shapes the hardest material.
Obviously. The Grand Canyon, for example. And it creates these incredible sculptures from small, gentle touching over time. It’s tempting when you’re staring at a mountain of a task to surrender to the giant, repeating the limiting mantra: “I can’t do that. I’m not big enough to start my own business/go back to school/find the love of my life/write a book/be successful.”
Nonsense. Start the task, whatever it is, at the beginning. If you don’t know where the beginning is, start at the nearest corner. Start small. Chip away at the little things you already know how to do, even if they are miniscule. Then the next stage of the path will become illuminated, and then the next. Persist – like water, you must persist! Soon you’ll have turned that giant rock into a stunning sculpture.
4. It can change.
It becomes one thing when you expose it to heat, and another thing altogether when you freeze it. Freeze it, melt it, evaporate it, you’re the king of the water! By using different energy vibrations you are changing the very form of the water.
You can also change your own form by changing the vibrations you exist in. Choose a different frequency and see how you change. Think about success and abundance, and see what that does to you. Close your eyes and imagine the moment when you accept the keys to your new business. The girl you’ve fancied for years knocks on your door with a smile. The idea comes for that book you’ve been wanting to write. How does that vibration feel?
Then open your eyes and remember that you’re too small to open a business, you’ll never meet a girl because of your terrible bunions, you can’t write a book because you can’t get your head around apostrophes, and you’ll never see success because you’re useless and rubbish. How does that vibration feel? Awesome? No? Change it back then.
Get in touch if you want to talk about changing from a swampy pool of gloopy water and back to the crystal spring you truly are! (Too far on the water metaphor?)
(Truthfully, there were only about eight emails and I wasn’t completely overwhelmed. My boss sent me 463 emails in the half an hour preceding my post going out, so my perspective was a little skew-whiff.)
But there was a theme in those responses I got, and it called me to have a good think about it.
I asked you the question: Do you believe in fate? Do you have a purpose? Are you living it?
And the answer you gave me was: How can I know if this is my purpose? I have plenty of goals – how can I know which of these goals is the true one?
Alright, I can take on that question. To find out if the goal you’re focused on is really the thing you truly desire, your core calling, the song that has been humming in your heart since you were born, you have to ask yourself five questions.
But first, an exercise.
Think of that goal of yours (“top salesman three months in a row” or “get the kitchen cabinets polished by Wednesday” or “be an astronaut” or “grow a cannabis farm for pediatric medicine” or what your goal may be).
Picture it, clear as day, in your mind. Imagine that it’s already here, feel the feeling in your stomach as you accept the top salesman award to standing ovation, or are cooking in your shiny new kitchen, or graduate from NASA’s astronaut school (they have one of those, right?).
Own that goal. It’s yours. It’s not too big for you, and it’s not unreachable. Whatever in your wildest dreams it is that you’ve imagined, it’s already yours.
As soon as you’ve got a clear picture in your mind of what you want, what you’d really really love, then ask yourself these questions:
1. Does it give me life?
Thinking about your goal should make you bubble with excitement. Feel that effervescent fizz erupt in your abdomen! If thinking about your goal feels dreary and boorish and full of chores and effort, then perhaps it’s not your true passion. Maybe being top salesman three months in a row is the goal that your boss thinks you should have. Maybe your mother-in-law thinks you should aim for that kitchen renovation.
Here’s a caveat though: Sometimes we can’t feel the excitement and fizziness when we think about our goals because our fears and limiting beliefs block it out. If you’re too busy thinking about how you can’t afford new kitchen cabinets or you’re not clever enough to be an astronaut, then you’re not thinking about your goal. You’re thinking about the wrong thing. So, just as a quick repetition, be sure to imagine your dream as if it is already here, and all those obstacles are already in the past. Then ask yourself the question again. This time you should feel the excitement. And if not, maybe the goal you have set in your mind isn’t your true calling. (And that’s ok – I’ll get on to that.)
2. Does it align with my core values?
Your true goal will never ask you to divert from your core beliefs or disregard other passions. If the goal you have set yourself requires you to work 100 hour weeks and never see your children, then it’s probably not really your heart’s desire. You don’t have to choose between success and happiness.
Here’s another caveat: If you’ve stepped away from your core values in pursuit of your dream, it may be that the dream is right, but your methodology is wrong. Ask yourself, is there a way I can achieve this goal without compromising on the things I believe? If the answer is yes, change your tactic and you’ll see faster results. If the answer is no, then you got your goal wrong. (No big deal though, easy fix – I’ll get on to that.)
3. Does the dream require that I grow?
My daughter is three and is at that gorgeous age where she absolutely can do anything and everything by herself because she’s a big girl. I love watching her stuffing her leg into her sleeve and her head through the leg hole as she tries to get dressed, because it reminds me that ever since we were born we are pulled into expansion, we have a yearning to learn more, to grow.
If your dream requires that you know more than you do now, or have skills you don’t yet possess, or money that you haven’t yet earned, then it’s bigger than you and that is worth aiming for.
If you’ve set your goal according to your current capacity (whether it’s time/money/skill level) then it’s not worth the soggy napkin you jotted it down on. (But that’s cool – I’ll get to that.)
4. Do I need help to achieve this dream?
If you don’t, it’s not big enough. You’ll need a mentor, or a role model. Perhaps you need guidance from God, or spirit, or universe, or angels or whatever you think that thing up there is.
Your true dream will require you to study, to think, and to learn from masters. This wouldn’t be a chore! Remember, thinking about your goal needs to fill you with life, not dread. So if your dream requires you to find inspiration from somewhere else than where you are right now, and the learning process excites you, then you’re on track!
5. Does it bring good to others?
This is where the advice gets all spiritual and hocus-pocusy, so put your prejudice in your pocket for now and let’s get all open-minded for a couple of paragraphs.
Positive force in the universe is much more powerful than negative force. A positive thought-wave has a more far-reaching vibration than a negative one. Good is stronger than bad. For that reason, the Universe will only call forward goals that send a ripple of goodness through existence, otherwise there would be too much resistance. If your goal would have negative effects on you, your family, society etc, then you might get somewhere with it, you might even achieve it, but it can’t be sustainable and you won’t find happiness.
It doesn’t mean your goal has to be a philanthropic one – it can be totally selfish! If your selfish goal is to be an astronaut, imagine all the good to others you will bring about by achieving that goal. Even aside from the incredible contributions you’d make to scientific progression, or the diplomatic efforts as you become involved in international space talks. Even on a “smaller” scale, your own happiness and fulfillment will affect your spouse, children and friends, inspire others to follow their dreams, and ripple through existence in an incalculable wave of good.
This last point is important to me, because it is the root of my philosophy: we have a responsibility to ourselves and to others to follow our dreams. Ignoring my calling not only deprives me of my chance to fulfill my craziest dreams, but it is also reckless: discontent, boredom and anger are negative vibrations with which I have no right to pollute other people’s atmosphere.
So there you have it: You’ve visualized your wildest dream and asked yourself the five questions. If you answered “yes” to all of them, then congratulations! You’re on the right track! Now all you have to do is keep hold of that vision, believe that you’ll achieve it, and every time you stand in front of a decision, ask yourself, is what I’m about to do going to help or hinder my progress toward my goal?
Ah. But what if you asked yourself the five questions and some of the answers were “no”. Oh shit, I spent 10 years of my life trying to sell gym memberships when I should have been brushing up on my astrophysics to get into NASA’s astronaut school.
It can be crushing to discover that what you’ve been working towards isn’t where your heart truly lies. So it turns out that being the top gym membership salesman isn’t exactly what you’d always hoped for, even if you momentarily forgot that in the pursuit of a sensible career. Now what?
The light is green ahead of you. The right path is right there. First, figure out what you really really do want. What would you love? Then, go back to that same exercise. Visualize it, study it, ask yourself the five questions. The years going the wrong way were not wasted – take what you’ve learned from it and apply the lessons. The years you spent trying to get your sales up might have taught you some very important lessons about communicating with people, or about your own limitations and weaknesses that you’ll need to iron out, or the art of business and profit. There is always time, and you have every tool you’ll ever need at your disposal.
Did that answer your question? I hope so. If not, please feel free to get in touch with me to talk about finding and fulfilling your dreams.
Can you believe that scientists now think that the matter and energy that gets sucked into a black hole, squashed into an incredible density that it just seems to vanish, actually might be bursting into a great Big Bang on the other side of what is then called a white hole?
That every black hole in the middle of every galaxy might be like a birth canal for other universes? And that’s happening everywhere all the time? Constant creation, like, constant!!
And it’s been happening since the beginning of everything! Loooooong before our own Big Bang. Jesus Christ…
If that’s the case then obviously our universe is just one of an endless sea of universes, a multiverse froth. Think of all the possibilities! Absolutely anything we can think of has to exist in some form somewhere.
But since the universes (or at least our own) are ever expanding (in fact the expansion of our own big pond is speeding up), then there has to be a lot of overlapping, right? We’ve already discovered that we can’t measure the “bruises” that ought to occur if universes “bump” into each other, so either the whole theory is a load of bollocks, or there are Laws of the Universe that we haven’t discovered yet. (Never! Not us! Can’t be!)
We do know that space time is a really flexible thing, so geography isn’t really an issue. Many things can exist in the same place at the same time, and the concept of alternative realities in other dimensions isn’t just science fiction, though I don’t know exactly what it is.
I really like the thought that all of these infinite universes bursting out of galaxy black hole birth canals exist almost as radio channels, on top of each other, everywhere all the time. It isn’t too great a leap for me to wonder if there could be a way to tune into the right channel, bringing into my life the universe that holds the reality that I want. The one where I’m a bestselling author and an impactful minister and live in a stunning log cabin with an endless champagne cellar and am at least 35 lbs less gorgeous and somehow my eyelashes have grown much longer.
It’s a theory a bit similar to what philosophers in metaphysics propose. That you can somehow by using the Law of Thinking tune into the infinite possibilities that exist and, if you can get the frequency just right, command it into being. Call me nuts (people frequently do) but that doesn’t seem altogether unrealistic to me.
I wonder if it’s got anything to do with galaxies giving birth to universes all the time. All the time! Imagine the bodily fluids. Maybe that’s what the mysterious dark matter is.
Just sent the Nobel Prize to my home address and if you can include some champagne that would be great.
It’s nice to think I’m here for something. Makes me feel all purposeful and hopeful and like my dreams count and shit. I’m not talking about the question of our origin and purpose as a whole species, but my fate as a single unit, a ME, that incredible, complex thing that I am deep inside after I’ve peeled off my Salvation Army sale clothes, the labels stuck on me by the disappointed teachers who couldn’t get me to understand physics, the mistakes and regrets I’m still carrying, the childhood dreams I stuffed in the back of a dusty box… Trash all that shit and have a look at what’s left—that’s the ME I’m talking about. Does that ME have a purpose?
I think so. I think you do too.
But it’s hard for thinking people to accept fate and the whole package it brings (soul, eternity, destiny, and all that complicated stuff) without giving the philosophy much thought. It’s hard to explain a predetermined fate without annihilating the concept of ‘free will’, and even if we can come to terms with the idea that there is something I’m here to do, then it also opens the question of: Who am I, this unit who has to do this thing?
The Quantum Soul.
Although we don’t know where consciousness comes from or where it goes when we die, there is some consensus between the scientific and spiritual communities that the consciousness that we identify with throughout our lives is unique to us – there is definitely an I in the big cosmos of us. Increasingly, science confirms (sort of) the Buddhist and Hindu belief and the modern metaphysical standpoint that the consciousness is an intricate part of the universe. That our unique consciousness can operate even when our physical bodies have given up, our uniqueness transcends from the microtubules in our brain where the quantum information is stored, and back into the Cosmos. A soul, in other words.
If there is a soul then, and it is eternal, what was it doing before it got here in my flesh? Some philosophers in modern metaphysics suggest that the soul is an expression of the collective consciousness (or unified field as Einstein called it), that has merged with life in order to bring experience back to the big G-O-D or whatever that huge thing is up there. The Universe expressing itself through us. Can it be that whatever my soul was doing before I became a person has something to do with why I’m here? Did I make a pact, to fulfill something, experience something, create something, progress something?
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart” (Jeremiah 1:4)
It’s a fun thought, that perhaps that eternal song that hums in my heart was first composed before all the mess and blood and fluids and screaming during my birth. Maybe I arrived here with a goal, and I need to get on track. I love the idea that my husband Matt and I knew each other before, that his quantum buzz already loved my quantum buzz and we made it a game to find each other. It certainly felt quantumy when we met!
“We’re here to learn” is an axiom of masters across philosophies, but if that’s true I wish I had been put here with a syllabus or a reading list to get through. Like everyone else, I experience the yearning for expansion and fuller expression, but I have lived reactively rather than with focus and direction. Following other people, allowing whatever was going on outside my mind to influence my point of view and therefore my thoughts, actions, and ultimately my character. I studied the subjects that seemed sensible, got a job that paid well and kept the relationships that affirmed me as the character I had chiseled out of the slab of concrete handed to me by the social conditions around me.
“By an irony of fate, my first employment was as a draughtsman. I hated drawing; it was for me the very worst of annoyances. Fortunately, it was not long before I secured the position I sought, that of chief electrician to the telephone company.” Nikola Tesla
Often we don’t realize who we’re meant to be because we’re so busy trying to live out someone else’s ideas. But other people and their opinions hold no power in defining our destiny. There is something within us that wants us to move to a higher level—we feel it as an ambition, or a calling. We recognize it, because it’s not the same as yearning for stuff, it’s not about getting, but about doing.
We all want stuff, of course, and we all get stuff. We live in a physical body that corresponds with a physical world, so it’s natural that we have physical goals. But it’s not the goal that we’re after, it’s the growth that we really aim for. And sometimes, when we stop and listen, we can really feel what that calling is.
“I’ve always wanted to be a writer/musician/accountant/optician/mother/juggler!” I declare.
But how do I know that? Is there a difference between my current faddy idea and the true depth of calling? I’ve been through so many ambitions and ultimate goals that I can’t even count them. Ranging from author to parapsychologist to business owner and wedding planner to minister and back to author again, my career aspirations change as my current point of view changes. What is the golden thread?
“Getting into publishing is really hard, I don’t think you’ll make it to be honest…”
“Sure, you’re a great writer, but honey – it’s not what you know, it’s who you blow.”
Religious and spiritual teachers say they hear the call to ministry. Why can they hear their calling so clearly when the rest of us struggle to make out our intuition through the white noise of conditioning? Is it because the God source talks to them more loudly than it does to us? Or is it because they are more accustomed to listening? Deep meditation, or prayer as it’s called in religious circles, allows the conscious mind to rest and the subconscious mind to talk.
The Refusal of the Call
All heroes have to refuse the call at some point. Gilgamesh, Jonah, Frodo Baggins, Luke Skywalker, all had to frown at their destiny with a wrinkled nose and think, “Oh dear, saving the Universe? People like me don’t do stuff like that. No thanks, I’ll stick with this sensible job at Cubicle Inc.” But you can only consciously refuse the call if you’ve heard it in the first place. If you aren’t sure what your fate is, how do you know if you’re not on track? If you have a fate, are you fulfilling it?
The teachings of Abraham (Hicks) suggest that our emotions are there to guide us through the labyrinth of life, keeping us on course through the storms that come with conditioning, fear, and limiting beliefs. You know, gut feeling. Going with the vibes. Does this decision I’m about to make feel good, or does thinking about it give me that steely ball of battery acid in my gut?
You know when opportunities present themselves and you don’t take them? That lingering regret when the moment has passed and you can’t get it back? And there’s always some well-wisher who says: “Ah well, it wasn’t meant to be…”
If you still feel regret after chewing over your well-wisher’s helpful response, then I would suggest that it was meant to be, and you missed it. You know it’s true, because thinking about that opportunity and what could have come of it feels much better than the idea that all that you have right now is all you were supposed to have. Even if we have a vague idea of what we truly desire, if our thinking is shifted just half a degree off track, over the years we will end up in a completely different place. But the point here is that nagging, hollow sense of disappointment and disillusionment when you feel like you missed your chance. There! That’s it! That’s the sign that you’re NOT on track to fulfilling your dreams, the core desires you had when you arrived here, the song in your heart that never goes away.
The good news is, I believe, that there is always a green light ahead of you. If you want that opportunity to come again, it will. Next time take it.
“When God predetermined our destiny, He factored in our stupidity. Therefore there’s always enough time to finish.” (Larry Randolph)
So to say that fate can’t exist in tandem with free will isn’t necessarily right. I can always choose to ignore the calling and settle for the sensible, society-approved life path. But the chances are that niggling feeling won’t go away until I one day, hopefully before my last minutes, decide to give my dreams a punt.
If my unique consciousness transcends into the cosmos when my body packs in, does it bring with it a report? Will there be a reckoning and a stern word if I haven’t kept my end of the bargain? I shouldn’t think so. We have enough of a hell on Earth when we refuse our own hearts.
“One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying.” (Joan of Arc)